I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
