I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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