just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
