Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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