it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
