i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
