Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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