Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
