You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Found the puke drawer
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
