I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
