I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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