I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
