It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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