I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
