worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize