what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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