how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
