Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
