This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
