i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
