Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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