And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize