Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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