drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
