My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
