after a month anything with tits is on the radar
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
