I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
