he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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