a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
