HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
