at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
