im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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