So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
