Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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