I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
