But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
