not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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