yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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