He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
