It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
