Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
