Buhtt sex?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize