miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
FUCK WHALES
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize