I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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