If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
