just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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