there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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