used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
