I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
