So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
