i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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