Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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