i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
