New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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