D3 body, D1 cock
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
