drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
