Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
