the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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