OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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