i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
