definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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