so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
