matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize