So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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