he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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