I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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