Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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