My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you would pick up someone in the library
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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