i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I can't turn off my feet"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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