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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
