I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
