If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Two words: nipple clamps
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