This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
