wat bout pragnant strippers??
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
