we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
